How musician and mother Nat Bartsch navigates neurodivergence and the music industry
Nat Bartsch was diagnosed with ADHD and autism. She's writing music that captures her experience of neurodivergence. (Nat Bartsch: Kristoffer Paulsen)
When Melbourne-based musician Nat Bartsch was growing up, the understanding of autism and ADHD were very different to today's understandings.
In the 1980s and 90s, the stereotypes of neurodivergence were things like boys obsessed with Thomas the Tank Engine, or children with extreme recall abilities.
Nat Bartsch's neurodivergence diagnoses came with complex feelings of grief and enormous relief. (Supplied: Nat Bartsch / Suzie Blake)
Bartsch, who is now a multi-award-winning composer and pianist, says when she was young, she felt like "a fish out of water".
"I loved school, I got really good marks, and I submitted my homework on time," she says.
But she found maintaining friendships hard.
"I was always putting my foot in it and not knowing why I would always seem to get it so wrong," she says.
As she got older, she realised some of the things she valued, like hyper focusing on her studies and creative projects, were neurodivergent traits.
Bartsch was diagnosed with autism aged 37, and ADHD when she was 38.
By then, she had experienced several burnouts and even quit playing music for a time.
"I was just trying to be a person that I wasn't and the needs I had with my [neurodivergence] weren't supported because I just didn't know that I had them," she shares.
For Bartsch, receiving her diagnoses and building a support system for her career and everyday life have made all the difference.
Lullabies to soothe and regulate emotions
Most people probably know Bartsch through her lullabies, which blend soft piano sounds, synth effects and other instruments.
One of her most beloved albums is based on her experience of motherhood: Forever, and No Time At All.
Lullabies have soothed babies to sleep for generations. But Bartsch says they can also help people of all ages to regulate emotions.
In her new album Forever Changed, Bartsch explores her love of repetitive musical patterns, often layering them to create a complex wall of sounds.
"Many neurodivergent people seem to find complex, detailed or dramatic music soothing," she says.
Music is also a vehicle for Bartsch to express and connect with other people's emotions.
"[I'm] trying to touch on the experience of late diagnosis, which a lot of people in the community are going through," she says.
Bartsch processes big feelings by writing soothing music.
For many, especially women and girls, the late diagnosis of autism or neurodivergence comes with a complex set of emotions.
"There's a lot of grief around the fact that I never knew who I really was, or the ways that I could have been supported and suffered a little less," Bartsch says.
But there's also "an enormous sense of relief" that she finally figured out how she's different and getting support to meet her needs.
"I've got the strongest sense of who I want to be musically," she says.
Juggling creative demands and motherhood
Many people who have neurodivergent traits never get diagnosed, sometimes due to the prohibitive financial costs.
But Bartsch says she has reaped the benefits of having a diagnosis.
"Having the label is important, because without that label I find that people give me other labels," she says.
After discovering her neurodivergence, Bartsch has been able to better understand her sensory needs and put supports in place to fulfil and manage her daily life.
Sometimes, support looks like someone who helps Bartsch complete tasks such as hanging out the washing during the busy period of recording an album. Other times, she meets her needs by having the right-coloured vegetables in the fridge.
"There's something soothing about the visual [stimulation] of having all the green things in my fridge going to the same risotto after a really big night," Bartsch says.
Although her ability to hyper focus can be powerful, Bartsch acknowledges it also comes with some unique challenges.
"It's one thing to focus intensely on completing a commission, but it's another thing to be able to clock off at 2:40 and go and pick up my son on time from school."
Being a mum as well as a creative can also throw in extra challenges.
Nat Bartsch writes music inspired by motherhood and her late diagnoses of ADHD and autism. (Supplied: Nat Bartsch / Brett Scapin)
Bartsch needs to set aside time to draw on her creativity.
"Becoming a parent was absolutely essential to being able to create checks and balances in my music career," Bartsch says.
"I was working at such an intensive level, 12 hours a day, seven days a week because it's my special interest. And I get to call it my job," she says about her previous work habit.
"[But] when I became a mother, I had to learn how to disconnect and spend a weekend pottering about, going to the play centre for a kid's birthday party, and it was an enormously positive change in my life," she says.
Neurodivergence and the music industry
For Bartsch, the music industry is a unique place for neurodivergent people.
"It's almost like the industry expects us to have certain neurodivergent-type traits in order to succeed," she says.
Initiatives such as relaxed performances can open up the music world to neurodivergent artists and audiences. (Supplied: Nat Bartsch / Maria Colaidis)
These can range from incredible attention to detail, a deep commitment to practising and always coming up with original and innovative ideas.
"There's going to be so many people that find the experience [of the music industry] kind of regulating," Bartsch says.
This is especially true for musicians whose special interests are their instruments, who enjoy the structure and certainties of rehearsals and performing routines.
"It's like [getting] your particular neurodivergent needs aligned," she says.
But she acknowledges plenty of neurodivergent people have different needs, and they might find navigating the demands of the music world difficult.
Some of these challenges might be going on tour and not being able to access the routine they normally have. Other challenges could come up for someone who has a great on-stage presence but has difficulty making their ways to venues or connecting to the audience.
"It's a very delicate line between being in an environment where your super powers are on display and being able to survive," Bartsch says.
She's passionate about using her experience to help others, and she recently spoke about it in the Australian Music Centre's annual Peggy Glanville Hicks address.
She has also been working with venues and collaborators to recognise the needs of neurodivergent artists and audiences.
Many musicians with disabilities have now created an "access rider", a document that outlines their access needs when working with an organisation or performing in a venue.
Although stipulating artists' access needs upfront might seem new, the music industry has been using riders for years. Bartsch cites the band Van Halen's legendary rider from the 1980s that stipulated that there were to be no brown M&M's in the backstage area.
Other initiatives could include creating what's known as a "social story" for artists, which can help them navigate social situations such as interacting with the technician crew they're working with.
Most social stories also include information such as the location of toilets and public transport hubs, which are useful for artists and audiences, and can also help people with other disabilities.
"All those things help me feel calm and regulated and perform at my best," Bartsch says.
She has been working to extend the neurodivergent-friendly environment for a mainstream audience.
This is partly to offset the constraints of initiatives by major organisations and venues that can sometimes feel limiting for neurodivergent audiences. For instance, most relaxed concerts are weekday matinee performances.
"I'm slowly educating the industry about the little adjustments they can make to work towards a more neuro-affirming environment in the longer term," Bartsch says.
EDITOR'S NOTE: December 5, 2024, An earlier version of this article misstated Nat Bartsch's age at the time of her ADHD diagnosis.